GAIN THE PASSION
GAIN THE PASSION
Kiné Corder - Tame Your Brain. World's #1 Financial Hypnotherapist
Kiné Corder, is a National Certified Counselor and the world’s #1 Financial Hypnotherapist. You may remember her from Oprah or ABC’s Extreme Makeover Show. Since then, she’s become a best-selling author and an international speaker taking the stage with well-known speakers like Les Brown and Daymond John.
She is also a proud grandmother, best selling author, international speaker, and clinical hypnotherapist specializing in financial therapy and stress management. In addition, Kiné is the CEO of Presidential Lifestyle, a wellness company focused on wealth in all of its forms.
Learn more and connect with Kiné Corder:
Website: https://www.presidentiallifestyle.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/KineCorder
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCx79w-ne7OxcNjwfheUDdiQ
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kinecorder/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kinecorder/
Find out more about GAIN THE PASSION Coaching
https://www.gainthepassion.com
Access past episodes and more of the GAIN THE PASSION Podcast
https://www.gainthepassionpodcast.com
Voiceover 00:00:00 Welcome to GAIN THE PASSION with hosts, Todd Foster, Alyssa Stanley and Kelley Skar.
Alyssa 00:00:11 Thank you for joining us today.
Kiné 00:00:13 Thank you for having me.
Alyssa 00:00:15 So there's a lot that I wanna cover, especially your time on a, B, C, and with Oprah. But let's kinda take it back to the beginning. How exactly did you come to the place of being one of the top financial hypnotherapist?
Kiné 00:00:30 Well, I coined the phrase because I created a system that we call Tamia Brain Therapy, and it is a combination of traditional talk therapy or specifically existential therapy, hypnotherapy and financial therapy. So as a financial advisor with Morgan Stanley, I realized that the people I was working with needed help with more than just stock picks and portfolios and numbers. There was trauma and anxiety and depression and all kinds of things happening that I wasn't able to, I wasn't equipped to help them with. So I look, started looking and I found financial therapy. I found behavioral finance, and I really started digging deep into pulling them all together because there's a lot of information out there. There's, you know, people doing financial therapy, they're people who are studying behavioral finance, but nobody really pulling it all together and blending it with a background of therapy. So then I went to school, got my master's in clinical mental health counseling, and I worked in the psych psychiatric hospital for a little while and realized that wasn't what I wanted to do.
Kiné 00:01:35 So I pulled my financial background in and really worked with people reconciling their emotions around money. And it sounds like sometimes when I say that people think I'm talking about poor people, but not necessarily all people have a relationship with money and have some emotions around money. We think we're making logical decisions when it comes to money, but we're really making emotional decisions. And most of the time when I work with people, especially when it comes to money, that is the third thing we work on. There are two steps before we even get to the money. So the therapy still has to happen. And that's usually the change management, because money conversations started when we were, before we even had money ourselves. Yeah. So doing that research and getting that background, not just in being a financial advisor, but also having the background in mental health and blending those together was, it was, it was just like heaven for me when I figured out that little path for myself. And so that's how I became the world's financial world's, number one financial hypnotherapist, is because nobody was really doing it. And then I said, I'm gonna do it.
Alyssa 00:02:53 That's fascinating because money, money roots so deep. And that's a, a hardwire that's really difficult to fix or, or recreate, especially on your own, because if you don't have a, if you don't have healthy mindset around money, and b, if you were never raised, if you were raised with emotional connections to that money, um, that's not something you can break on your own.
Kiné 00:03:18 Right, exactly. And it's so deeply rooted and what we don't understand a lot of times is that what happened between zero and seven years old becomes solid in our subconscious brains. And that's the program that runs for us. And most of the time that by the time you're 21, 22 years old and your conscious brain becomes online because it starts to form in teenage years, but it really solidifies in around 24. And so once that comes online and you go into conscious brain, you don't realize that your subconscious brain is ruling you. You really actually think your conscious brain is ruling and you apply all this meaning to things, and that stands in the way of you getting to what you really want. And you don't realize it's your subconscious brain that's in the way. And so sometimes we feel like our brain is like secretly plotting against us.
Kiné 00:04:15 You know, they say that, um, what is the saying that Einstein is? So they say, uh, doing the same thing, expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. And I like to say it's not the definition of insanity, it's the definition of humanity because we all do it. We all do the same thing expecting a different result because our brains like familiarity, it likes homeostasis. And so it's going to go towards the familiar thing, even if the familiar thing is causing us pain and suffering. So we just keep doing that thing because it's familiar, because to the brain that'll keep you alive, doing what's familiar, keeps you alive going into that unknown forest or jungle or path or mountain unknown, you'll probably die if you go there until to the brain, I gotta keep you alive. That is my only job. People think your brain is to help you find happiness and help you find the right maid and all that other stuff.
Alyssa 00:05:11 <laugh>,
Kiné 00:05:12 Keep you alive. That is my only job, lady. Just stay alive. <laugh>,
Todd 00:05:17 You brought up a couple words, key words that stuck out to me. You said programming, uh, you said emotions, logic, money. And I've always said that money is energy and you seem like you're energetic about money. I mean, when you talk about financials, your face lights up. So I wanted to go back to your programming that you had between the age of zero and seven. What was that like for you?
Kiné 00:05:43 So my parents were, well, you know what? Great question, because my biological father and my mother got divorced when I was seven. And so what happens when you have a catastrophic event like that at seven is that you now have to redo all of the observations that you did from zero to seven years old. We're making observations. And then from seven to 14, we are, we have a hypothesis and we're proving that hypothesis. Well, for me, and people like me who have a catastrophic event around seven years old, we have to redo all of that because my whole life got uprooted and changed. And so what I thought was love was money, was health, was whatever, all of those obs observations I made, all of the hypothesis I made had I had to redo. And so from seven to 14 in, in between there, my mom got remarried, met my stepdad, who I consider my father, and they were both, um, they had entrepreneur spirits, but they both had jobs.
Kiné 00:06:47 And then when I turned about 17, 18 years old, they both started their own companies. So I have this mix of like corporate and entrepreneur in me, although I've always owned my own business all my life. Um, they're, and, and when even at Morgan Stanley, you really do own your own business. They don't, you don't get a paycheck unless you make some money. Correct. Be clear about that. <laugh> <laugh>. So, so I have this mix of like, oh, you know how some people say, oh, you just get a job, you know, worked, worked there for 30 years and then retire. That's one kind of money mindset. The other set of my money mindset is like that entrepreneur mindset. And so that entrepreneurial mindset, I have a little bit of both of those, but the entrepreneurial mindset is the biggest part of my mindset. So I've always had this business side of me since I was a little kid.
Kiné 00:07:41 And we talked about, because my parents owned their own business pretty early, and they were executives. Um, we talked about business a lot at the dinner table, you know, at restaurants we just like, oh, how much, okay, how many chairs in this restaurant? How often do you think they're getting full? You know, we're calculating. So it's always been a thing of mine to talk about money. Ne money has never been taboo subject in our house. And when my mom got a divorce, she was very vocal about what was happening with the finances. Like, okay, there's changes being made, you know, we are not gonna be able to do that right now. We'll be able to do that then, you know, kind of giving us a, a sense of when the money would be back on track and Sure. And she kept her word to us and it was, and so we always had a really open relationship when it came to money.
Todd 00:08:30 And it sounds like it was a positive open relationship about money, correct?
Kiné 00:08:34 It is. It was. And it is. Only thing I will say is my parents are spenders and I am a saver, which is exact opposite, which happens a lot. That the, the child can now, now my brother and sister are both spenders as well, just like my, my parents. But I came out and became a saver. And that is, it's an interesting dynamic because sometimes that happens and you want to be exactly like your parents, or you want to be exactly the opposite of your parents. And that's just not just with money. That could be with health, that could be with love, that could be with the job, you know, the profession that you choose. So I came out and I was like, I'm not gonna be a spender, but then in my relationship, I'm with a spender. So I was like, <laugh>,
Todd 00:09:25 Isn't that fascinating? I'm, I'm that spender. <laugh>. I'm the spender. I'm definitely the spender.
Kiné 00:09:30 Yeah. And then to go even deeper, he and I spend in different ways. He spends on personal, in our personal life. He's the spender in our business. I'm the spender. I don't, I don't wanna tell this on, on this podcast, but I'm going to, as I said, I am overly, overly, I share too much, but it is so easy to sell me anything for the business. They're like, new software, new this, new that, new tools do it. I'm like, okay, let's get it. Ok, let's get it. Let's get it. He's like, no, no, no. And I'm like, why not? Maybe it works, maybe it'll make you make another million dollar, you know, it's like, yeah, you just won't. Yeah, exactly. Yep. But it's easy to sell me anything when it comes to business. It's easy to sell him anything when it comes to personal. Personal.
Todd 00:10:14 I love it. Got us targeted then <laugh>, when you were, let's say 10 years old, what did you wanna be when you grew up?
Kiné 00:10:21 So that's, oh, that's such a great question. So if I tell this in part of my talk when I was a kid, I would always say I wanted to, so people say, what do you wanna be in when you grow up? And I would say, um, happy. And they were like, no, <laugh>, no. What do you wanna do? And I'm like, oh, help people feel better. And they're like, oh, you wanna be a doctor? And I'm like, nah, don't wanna be a doctor. Nope. That's not what I mean. <laugh> <laugh>. Well they're like, you have to, you have to choose a job cane. And I'm like, I do the job. The job sounds so boring. I can't think of any job I would wanna do. And so then I said, well, maybe I will go into the entertainment business because that seems fun. Because all I'm worried about is having fun and being happy and making money doing that somehow.
Kiné 00:11:10 And I really didn't know exactly how I was gonna do it. I was not one of those people who knew what their, I still don't really know what I'm doing with my life. I know I'm a therapist, but I'm like, but I got this other idea. Maybe we can mix therapy with corporate training. You know, it's like, it's never just one thing for me. So I never wanted to do one thing. It was all about just having fun and being happy. And so I have this saying that I say, I get paid for being me. My life is very easy. And that's always what I wanted to do. As long as I can remember, just have fun, be happy, be me. I remember when I was about 20, I think I was, and my dad was like, I'm confused. I don't know what you wanna do with your life. And I was like, because I am too
Todd 00:11:58 <laugh>. We're,
Kiné 00:12:02 So, I said, really, to tell you the truth, all I want is for when I talk, people listen. And he jokingly said, okay, EF Hutton, <laugh>. I dunno if you
Todd 00:12:13 Remember that commercial <laugh>. I, I do remember that, yes. Going back a a a couple of decades. Yes, I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't tell you where I put my keys an hour ago. Entire remember commercial. I
Kiné 00:12:25 Know, right? So crazy.
Todd 00:12:27 So how did you get behind a barber chair?
Kiné 00:12:30 Mm, yeah. So my sister was a hair stylist. Now my sister was the opposite of me. She knew at, I think she was like 10 or 12 years old. She knew she wanted to be a hair stylist. She knew this from very, I mean, she planned her high school career to go to a high school that had a cosmetology school in it. That's how Wow. Wow. Intentional. She was about this. And then she graduated from high school, went to the Harvard of, um, hair schools. And it was like precision. She knew exactly what she wanted to do and she said, I do not wanna be an assistant. That is what, how most stylists start out. There's somebody's assistant and then they build their own clientele. She's like, I'm going straight for a building, my clientele. And she did that. And so I was her assistant, cuz I didn't mind being an assistant cuz I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up. Right. <laugh>. So I was her assistant. I was um, probably like 17, 18 years old. I was her assistant. And, and, and I did that for a little while to pay my way through college. I stayed in the barbershop, in this salon working shampooing hair, all the assistant stuff. And then I got out of college. I got went to school for, um, really my degree is in television, film and television production. Remember I said mine,
Todd 00:13:45 Mine
Kiné 00:13:46 Really
Todd 00:13:47 Awesome. It's worthless. What a great degree. I have <laugh> here we are together on podcast. Isn't that amazing?
Kiné 00:13:53 That that's exactly what happens when you have a degree. <laugh>, full circle <laugh>. So, so my degree is in television film and I'm, you know, hitting the pavement and I'm doing freelance and you know, here or there, whatever I can get. Cuz you, you stay unemployed a lot as as producer. Yes. Yes. So, um, I'm just hitting and my sister's like, oh you can continue to shampoo for me or whatever. And then I got a job at McDonald's corporation, at McDonald's corporations. I don't know if they still have it, but back then they had, um, a host studio where they shot their training tapes and uh, all their industrial videos were shot in-house and they even had what was called McDonald's communication network. So if you work in McDonald's, there's a TV in there. And that TV had programming. And so we did the communication department did all the programming.
Kiné 00:14:45 So I ended up getting a job there after I graduated, but I was off on the weekends. And so one day I went up to the shop, hang out with my friends cuz that's where all my friends were at the shop. And so it was like noon and I'm bringing them lunch and the cash registers are full and I'm feeling like I barely got enough pennies to even buy them lunch. And I looked at the cash register, I'm like, what is wrong with this picture? I went to college, I got a job. Yeah, this is, yeah. Crazy. Even though I was freelance. So it's like I'd still owned, owned my own business. I still felt like I didn't have enough compared to what they had. And money was just flowing in. And I'm like, and it's only noon, just imagine what everybody the day. So I said, Hmm, what's the name of that barber school? <laugh>.
Kiné 00:15:31 She says, everybody's going too <laugh> right there with you. Yep, yep. Yeah, exactly. So I went to, so I ended up going to barber school, I got outta barber school and, and started my shop and I'm kind of, I'm kind of like forest gum pretty charmed. So I became very well known and as a female barber and in, in the nineties there weren't very many female barbers. That was not a thing. Nowadays It is. But um, as a female barber, it was either p it was really, it was polarity. People would either say, never will a female cut my hair. Like that's crazy. I wanna, I want a man. Uh, or they'd say like, Ooh, a female cutting my hair. That's cool. Yeah, let's do it. I wanna try this. Yeah, right. <laugh>. So I just capitalized on that. And then I am impeccable with scheduling and a lot of barbers aren't.
Kiné 00:16:22 So I would just steal clients if that's the way, that's the nicest way to say that. I would, I would just say, well, he's not here. I know you had an appointment with him, but he's not here if you wanna get your haircut. I gotcha. I can take you <laugh>. Right. And then they noticed that when they scheduled appointments with me, it happened. So I was always a good business person because my parents were in business. So by the time I opened my business, I knew how to be a business owner. It wasn't like, oh, like a lot of the, the freelancers and business owners in the beginning it's like, oh, what do I do with my hours? No, I knew exactly what to do with my hours. Make money.
Voiceover 00:17:03 If you are enjoying this episode, please leave a five star view at your favorite podcast provider.
Alyssa 00:17:10 Can you walk us through what a hypnotherapy based financial counseling session looks like? Because that's, I I can't picture it.
Kiné 00:17:22 Yes. Okay. So I'm gonna start out by saying right now we do two things at presidential lifestyle and that is trained therapists in our tame your brain therapy. And then we match those therapists with companies because we are moving to a new model. But I am gonna answer your question. I just wanna say this so that, so that we match those therapists with a company so that you are giddy what we call corporate therapy, therapy at work. Since you spend most of your hours at work, then that should be where you get your therapy. And if you've watched the show Billions, I don't know if either of you have Yeah,
Todd 00:18:01 I'm, don't ruin it for me because I'm just on, we literally are on season four episode like nine. No, no, no, I'm just gonna being bad. And Chuck is now the guy and Bobby's still being Bobby and Wendy's doing that.
Kiné 00:18:16 So Wendy, that's where, where I was going with this.
Todd 00:18:18 Okay. Okay. <laugh>. So I'll edit that out.
Kiné 00:18:20 So Wendy No, no, it's okay. So Wendy, that character, Wendy Rhodes is a great example of what we do. So we go into companies and we are basically the in-house therapist for the leader and the leadership. We also have group therapy for the support team. So that's how we do it. But that's not how we started out. A lot of times when people tell the story about how their business runs, they'll tell that the, you know where they are now, but you don't get to see the, the path along the way. So let's talk about that success path. We call it the path to prosperity. And so we first started out before we had our three phase program. So right now we do tame your brain for change, tame your brain for performance and then tame your brain for prosperity. And that's why I said we don't get to the money into the third part.
Kiné 00:19:12 So before we did it that way, what we first did was we had a consultation and you start with the consultation what's, which is our path to prosperity session. And it really is about discovery. And we're finding out what happened in the past, what is your money story? We did an assessment, we actually have two assessments that we do a life of meaning assessment, which cuz what we don't understand is that what we believe about money is completely different about what we believe about meaning and fulfillment. So we had two different assessments. We have you fill out those assessments Nowadays those assessments are one, um, that both of them we create, we created it. Um, so we have you fill out those assessments. Once we evaluate your assessment and we have your consultation, then we say, okay, here is your program. So it was an individual program for everybody who came in.
Kiné 00:20:03 And it's still pretty individual lies. But what we say is, our program is tailored to you not custom. Okay. Difference. Yeah. So we used to do a custom to each person. And so after your consultation and you have your path to prosperity session, then their next session is your breakthrough to clarity session, which is a little bit longer. We're going even deeper. And that's when we do your first hypnotherapy session. And in that session, what that looks like is we're going to go back to what happened to you as early as you can remember. And this is where a lot of therapists get tripped up because we as therapists sometimes wanna control and we wanna tell you what to go to. Well tell me about your childhood, tell me about this and tell me about that. Instead of pointing to it, allow the subconscious brain to tell you where it wants to go.
Kiné 00:20:58 Now a lot of therapists will see that as resistance, but what it is is safety. The brain doesn't feel safe, so it's not gonna go back. So we just allow you to show us where you would like to start. So if we take that session and we go back and you tell me a memory at age and you're 40 years old and you tell me a memory at 21, that just tells me how much your brain trusts me. Not that much. So, but for some people we said they, they get into the session, they go all the back way back to two years old. Uh, I'm two years old. I I kind of remember it. This is what's happening and that I know they're just ready. So in that path to prosperity session, one thing that I forgot to mention was at the end of that session, I say two things.
Kiné 00:21:43 One is, is it okay for you to be okay? Even though what happened to you in the past was not okay? And hopefully they answer yes. Some people say no, but if they say yes, then my next question is on a scale of one to 10, one being I'm not gonna do anything you tell me, 10 being I will do anything you tell me to in order to be okay, where are you? If they say 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, or six, then I say, nice meeting you. Hope you enjoyed your path to prosperity session. We are here when you need us because I know that one through six means you're not ready even though you think you're ready and today you feel ready, we are gonna hang up this phone or get off the zoom and you're gonna go right back to doing what it is mm-hmm. <affirmative> that you were doing before you met me.
Kiné 00:22:32 And I'm not about to waste my time or your time or your buddy. So if they say seven, then it really depends on this next session, I'll do a path to uh, breakthrough the clarity session with them. And if they seem ready and they're, and they do the field work that I give them more homework that I give them, then we can continue on. Because seven is that number that's like, eh, kind of ready, but kind of not that one thing can push you either way. So I am usually just gonna take a little litmus test to see how ready they are. If eight, nine or 10, I know that they're ready. I know that they're gonna follow me. I know that I'm, I can guide them cause I'm kind of like Yoda and they're like Luke Skywalker and I'm, you know, just dropping little Cs for them to get the force.
Kiné 00:23:15 Cause the force is already inside of them. I'm just helping them bring it out. Sure. So I'm not creating anything. I'm not an artist here. I really am just pulling that out of them what's inside of you. Let's talk about it. Because what you believe about money is what you believe about health is what you believe about love. It's what you believe about adventure. All of those things at make up your idea of prosperity. So we wanna touch on all of those things, but one by one. So when you take that assessment, it'll let us know what is the immediate need. You might have come in saying that you were afraid you're gonna lose your job, whatever. Um, and, and that is a money conversation, right? It sounds like it on the surface. Cuz you're like, if I lose my job then you know, how will I pay my rent?
Kiné 00:23:58 And blah, blah blah, blah, blah. But if we keep going, we might find, oh, you have a problem with authority, where does that come from? And then we can go back and see what that was. We can't take whatever the immediate need. We do have to address it because of the trust. We gotta get your brain to trust us. So we look at the immediate need, we go deep into the immediate need, but going deep into the immediate need, usually uncovers the real true challenge is what we call it. Not problem. It's the challenge because you're not broken. There's nothing to fix. This is especially what I tell my teenagers. Cause a lot of times parents wanna bring their teenagers in and they're like, fix this kid know? And I'm like, well that would, I would've to fix you in order to fix the kid <laugh>.
Kiné 00:24:41 So nobody is broken here, but the system is. So I'm really looking at the system. What are the stories that you've been telling yourself? What does society teach you? What does your parents teach you? What did community teach you? And then what did your past mistakes teach you? So I would need to know all of that so we can change that program and tell yourself new stories. Because it's all about the new story. It's just that it's not familiar. Remember we talked about the brain going towards familiar, the new story is unfamiliar. So what does your brain think about unfamiliar? Deadly. I could die if I do something unfamiliar. So it's not gonna do the new thing. Even if the new thing is eating better. I heard a podcast of you guys, um, Chandler Walker and he talked about the doctor, um, with he, he, he changed his profession or because the doctor he was working with told the man, are you, did you, did you do what?
Kiné 00:25:39 I told you? Did you exercise? Did you eat? He's like, Nope, but can I get my medicine <laugh>? He's like, what? Right? But to him mm-hmm. <affirmative>, what else would he do? That was his life. That was his programming. That was how he stayed alive. He has no idea that he could thrive, forget, just stay alive. You could thrive if you could just get on this new program. And so that's what the process looks like. It looks like us looking at what you see, not making you wrong because you are not, but letting you see how those things are no longer serving you. And if there's a different way you want to feel, then let's look at that and then let's create a path to that. We call that your path to prosperity. And let's see, what would it take for you to get here? And so we're looking at wealth, health, adventure, love and legacy.
Kiné 00:26:33 And what would it take for you to get there? And we take them one at a time, but each one of those are equally important. But to each person is different. This is where the, the tailoring comes in. Because if you, if I ask you, each one of us is probably has a different number, amount of money that we think is prosperous. Each one of us has a different version of love. Each we were just talk. I would my significant other and I were just talking about trust and what does trust mean to you? And says that trust means to me. If I tell you, it kind of goes back to what I told my father. If I tell you something, you don't go verify it. You just believe it. You just go do <laugh> what I said. Yep. And it really is. It's like I, I feel like op, I wanna, you know how people say Oprah said, Oprah said, Oprah said, it's kind of like that for me. I just wanna say whatever it is. And then people are like, well, cane said, so it's kind of like bible <laugh> Cane said it's like law <laugh> <laugh>.
Kiné 00:27:32 So that is true. But that, um, that is my, you know, that's a version of trust for me. It's a version of success for me that people trust you that much. That's how I define success is that I am trusted.
Alyssa 00:27:47 I love this so much like the mental health therapy side and then also the money mindset side. Um, I was raised and, and I think it was, it's a generational thing, um, that having to go to therapy is almost like a black mark. Like you're broken. If you have to see a therapist, you are broken. Yeah. Like, uh, something's wrong with you. And, um, now I'm older and I've been through an f where I needed therapy. I'm like, Oprah, you get therapy and you need therapy. Like, I, I think everybody would benefit genuinely from a mental health therapist because there are things that happen to us in life that we are not equipped to navigate A alone and b, without professional training. Genuinely <laugh>, you know? Yes. There's just things like when I was diagnosed with ms, I thought I could handle that on my own because I was raised strong and I'm a bolder and I can get through anything and I don't need anybody.
Alyssa 00:28:43 And then there was enough was enough and I was like, ha ha, no, I can't. I need some help. And it was eye-opening and life-changing. And then on the flip side, um, money mindset, I, we grew up, um, needing all things. Like we did not have a lot of money. We were scarcity all the time. And so now as an adult, I've had to put so much work in on removing emotions and removing, um, like preexisting conditions around money because as a mom raising kids mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I have this, what, what I used to think was irrational. And now I know where it comes from. This fear that oh my gosh, what if, what if I wake up one day and I can't put food on the table for my family bank account wise. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, that's mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Like that's not even a fear that I need to worry about at this point in my life.
Alyssa 00:29:35 Yet that is a fear that creeps in all the time. And I've worked really hard to rewire all of this. But what I think is amazing that you're doing is you are not telling people, here's how you need to fix this. Here's how you have problems right here, here, my Kiné solution to your problems. You are leading people in a path of self discovery. And that right there is going to root deeper and last longer than anybody's. Here's a printed ma map on what you should do and what you should follow. See you later. Like you are reaching people Yeah. On a deep, lifelong level. And that is incredible.
Kiné 00:30:16 Absolutely. Thank you. Thank you for noticing that and pointing it out. I appreciate that cuz that is our core value. That is what I live for. And it, it, it is a different kind of therapy because we are used to society telling us, here are the steps, right? Do this, do that, do this, and then we do it right. We go to school, get a job, get married, get a dog. Yep. Whatever. Like have kids, we've, we followed the path and then we're like, wait, this was supposed to bring me happiness. Well, well that wasn't your version of happiness. That was society's version of happiness. And most people, that's not enough. Yeah. And we think it's gonna be. And so really getting to know yourself, which is not a thing. And sadly as parents, we believe that we are keeping our kids safe by saying, do as I say, just do as I say, because I said so not allowing them to say, why is this a good idea? Why is this not a good idea? Talk it through, you know, figure it out. No, because then you're defiant or, you know, combative. But that is how we discover ourselves is to talk it through. I remember when I was growing up, my mom would wake awaken me and say, Kane, are you going to school today? Now I didn't have a choice. Well, she really made it sound like
Todd 00:31:40 Too <laugh>.
Alyssa 00:31:43 I love that. My son, my, my first year old son would be like, or my first grade son would say, Nope, I'm not
Todd 00:31:50 <laugh> <laugh>. Oh
Kiné 00:31:54 Yeah. It's funny. You should ask. I was just
Alyssa 00:31:57 Interesting. Funny.
Kiné 00:32:01 Yeah. And then, well, let's say, let's say he does, or let's say I did say to mommy, no, I'm not gonna go today. She said, oh, okay. Well what do you think you'll do today then? And if I'm like, sit around and watch cartoons. Okay. And what will that get you? Um, uh, I don't know. Oh, okay. So you actually don't have a plan here? No, I guess I don't. Oh, hey, let's talk about a plan. How about we put a plan together? Okay, well, would you like to see your friends? You like Jasmine and you, you and sh you know Sheila. Like, you, you guys always have fun at school, right? Well, yeah, we do. And you, you always come home and you're talking about like, stuff you guys did and dah, dah, dah. She would Jedi. I love it. Mind trick me.
Alyssa 00:32:46 I love it
Todd 00:32:47 <laugh> what kids do and parents do. We all Jedi mind tricked each other all day long.
Alyssa 00:32:53 <laugh>.
Kiné 00:32:54 And then at the end of that conversation, you know, you're like, oh, that's true. Oh yeah. And today is pizza day at school. You, but
Alyssa 00:33:01 What what that does is that gives power back to that child because they, they think they made the decision. <laugh>, you know, <laugh> mm-hmm. <affirmative> mm-hmm <affirmative>. And that builds that child's confidence. You're giving them power rather than an authoritative, you must do it, you must listen. I'm the power, you're not blah, blah, blah. And you're raising Yes. Stronger.
Kiné 00:33:25 Because lemme tell
Alyssa 00:33:25 You, well-rounded human beings that way.
Kiné 00:33:28 Absolutely. Because let me tell you, when that happens, right around 12 years old, they are still listening to the voice outside of them. If that's what you taught them, trained them to do, but it's not gonna be your voice anymore. Now it's gonna be their friends or a celebrity or whatever. Then eventually it becomes the media or the government or a boss at work, whatever. But to your children, you are an outside voice. And if you're not teaching them to listen to their inside voice, then eventually they're gonna stop listening to your voice. And then after they stop listening to your voice, what they are, what's happening is they're trying to find the right voice to listen to. But cause they were trained now in that moment at teenage years, they start to ha, oh, I got some ideas. But they don't trust themselves because they weren't taught to.
Kiné 00:34:27 So who they trust is another voice outside. And so they go looking from other voices outside. Now, when we grow, when we become adults, we don't realize that we are no longer, we're still listening to voices outside. We don't even realize it. And then at some point we have a midlife crisis and we're like, I don't know myself, I don't know how I got here. I was just following you with the rules. I was following society and now my life is not fulfilling. I don't like it. I don't even know if I like this flight, this lady here, my wife.
Todd 00:35:03 I'd like to go back to what you wore, who you were before you started the entire Team Brain organization and the Global Empire built with that. There's rumor that I've heard that you were on Oprah, is that correct?
Kiné 00:35:17 Yes. So back in about 2003, um, I was on a show called Extreme Makeover. And going back to what I said, I'm like Force Gump, I'll always end up in the right place at the right time. I get on ABC's Extreme Makeover exactly at the right time. My show was the number one rated show. Um, even though b c thought it wouldn't be, they actually thought they were gonna trash my show, actually. They were like, no, this isn't, this isn't tv. And um, the Bill Dorfman, the dentist on the show was like, no, you gotta air the show. People will love it, people will love Cane. And he was right. And, um, number one rated show. And so I got chosen to be on Oprah and become the spokesperson for a, B, C. So traveled all around and, and at the time I was still a barber at the time.
Kiné 00:36:06 And so basically quit that job to be the spokesperson for a, b, c moved to LA and Oprah was one of the things, one of the shows that we did. Good Morning America, EXOS, Hollywood, all of all of the shows. But if you just say Oprah, that encompasses everything else that you've done. Yes, <laugh>. And so that, and then that propelled me to write the book, the Art of Starting Over, um, which it started out as the title. Um, keep the Best of You Do the Rest of You. And so it's really a, a play on, you know, what is it great about you? What is awesome about you? What is this? We call it know yourself. This is yourself, this is your true self. All the awesome things about you that's know you, so know that. And you, it's so funny because people have a hard time telling me what's so great about them.
Kiné 00:36:54 And then you have to know what we call your paw. What's in the way? What's blocking you? What's stopping you? And I was clear on that. I was clear for me it was my lips. And I got surgery on my lips. And, and Oprah asked me on the show, well, you said on, on the show that you, you didn't wanna be teased anymore by those people. That's kind of why you got the surgery, right? You proved them right that you didn't like yourself. And I said, no, I, I, I proved to myself that I didn't like that my lips, I liked myself, I just didn't like my lips. So I kept the best of me and I did the rest of me. And so that's kind of the book. And then we, so the Artist starting Over is the book. It really is a step-by-step guide to creating more power, peace, and pleasure in your life. And then I went on the speaker circuit speak internationally, Damon John, Les Brown, you know, all the people. And um, and then came back and continued to do this work. And then that's when I became a, a, a financial advisor with Morgan Stanley. But my time on Oprah was kind of pivotable. It was like that, that life after Oprah kind of thing. Once you've been to Oprah and 30 million people know your face.
Alyssa 00:38:13 Kiné, this has been fascinating. Where can people go to learn more about you and about the techniques that you use and your subscription service?
Kiné 00:38:22 I'd like to say if you are a company, then presidential lifestyle.com is the best way to reach us. I am on LinkedIn. That's where you can find us if you like to connect personally, like you just wanna hear our Mental Health Monday videos and, or I should say watch our Mental Health Monday videos, um, and stuff like that. But if you are a therapist and you wanna be trained in the Tame Your Brain Therapy, then you would go to presidential lifestyle.com/train.
Voiceover 00:38:55 Thanks for listening to GAIN THE PASSION. Please rate review and share the podcast and don't forget to hit the follow or subscribe button.
